


Things Fall Apart

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Futurefic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-06
Updated: 2005-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 06:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's never too late to change the past. [09/13/03]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Fall Apart

## Things Fall Apart

by silvina

[]()

* * *

Standard Disclaimer. Don't worry, I have specific plans for them after I win the lottery. Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@yahoo.com. 

* * *

He walked through the door in the early afternoon, unsure of why he was there. Directly he was there because former President Luthor had asked Superman to come, but mostly he came because it was Lex. Whatever had come between them (just about everything) there was still something about Lex that he simply couldn't, ever, ignore. "You wanted to speak with me, Luthor?" 

"Please," Lex's voice almost a purr, making something inside of him shiver in remembrance. "Let's not stand on formality. Call me Lex." 

He forced himself to stay firm. "What do you want, Luthor? I don't have time for games." 

Lex laughed, but it was harsh and the sound grated on his ears. "Games are all we have, Superman." 

"Goodbye, Luthor." 

"All right then, Clark. Sorry, I mean Superman." 

There was no point in denying the obvious. Lex wasn't guessing, he knew. "I won't be blackmailed." 

"Good enough." 

Curiosity got the better of him. "How did you find out?" 

Lex shrugged. "It's not news to me." The pun fell flat. "Although I have always wondered about the name. 'Superman.' Isn't that a little Nietzchean?" 

He shrugged. "I was just trying to help people." 

"Ah yes. 'I'm Superman. I'm here to help.' Do you even realize how patronizing that is? Who named you judge, jury, and executioner? Who voted you into office?" 

Anger made him reply, feeling like he was 15 all over again. "At least I recognized you for what you are." 

"Oh, I recognized you all right. It wasn't much of a disguise, given that I knew you before the glasses." Lex moved closer, letting one finger run down the collar of the suit to the belt. At the touch Clark was barely able to make himself pull away before it went any further. "Besides, the tights don't hide anything I haven't seen before." 

"Don't touch me." he said, even though what he really wanted to say was please. Please touch me. What was it about Lex that still did this to him? Lex took one step back, raising his hands as if surrendering, although Clark was sure he had no such intention. 

"Besides, that wouldn't have been as much fun." 

"Fun? Is this all a game to you?" Though he still wore the suit, it was Clark asking. 

"Of course it's a game. You created the rules after all. You, good guy; me, bad guy." 

Something about what Lex was saying made him uncomfortable. He _was_ the good guy, so why did the way Lex said it make him feel dirty? Again, he let his anger and resentment get the better of him, and he responded by playing a card he'd promised himself never to play, regretting it the instant the words left his mouth. "I would have thought your father had trained you better in playing games." 

Lex didn't even blink, as if he'd known that Clark would someday hold Lionel Luthor against him. "He did." 

Clark felt like throwing up. This couldn't, shouldn't, be allowed to continue, but it did. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't stop without asking one more question, regardless of the answer. "Then how come you keep losing?" 

Lex looked at him for several minutes without replying, and Clark was almost ready to apologize or leave when Lex turned and walked out of the room. Only superhuman hearing allowed him to hear what Lex muttered as he left. "Who ever said I was playing to win?" 

The words hit him physically, doing more damage then he though possible as their meaning sunk in. It made his head hurt. Had he been wrong from the beginning? Had Lex abandoned him, as he'd thought for so long, or had he abandoned Lex, allowing the prejudices of his family and friends to cloud his vision? It was a hard possibility to face after more then ten years of anger at his former best friend. 

Forced to take a new look at feelings and actions he'd taken for granted for such a long time, it was almost an hour before he was ready to find Lex. The feelings he'd repressed under anger were still there, at least on his part, and Lex's cryptic comments gave him hope that the possibility of starting over till existed. 

Lex wasn't anywhere in the house, so he took the few seconds to change into other clothes before looking for him. Still wearing the suit would only interfere; whatever happened now would be between Clark and Lex, not Superman and his former archenemy. 

Once he thought about it, it was obvious where Lex would go. The place where they'd met, the beginning of their friendship, and simultaneously the beginning of the lies that ultimately tore them apart. 

Walking across the bridge was like taking a step back in time, almost fifteen years in one step. He walked slowly and quietly, trying to decide what to say, how to start. When they'd been young it had been so much easier, even when it was hard. He'd regularly barged into Lex's office, dragging him out to play even when he'd spent days holed up in his office. Even before they had begun a different type of friendship, Lex had almost always been willing to drop whatever he was working on to spend time with Clark. He was desperately hoping that Lex, though older and more jaded, would still have the same inclinations. 

"Yes, Superman?" He hadn't turned around, and Clark was unsure how Lex had known he was there until he followed Lex's gaze into the water below them. Their joint reflection wavered in the movement of the water. Lex's voice was cold again, the tone he used with people he was forced to tolerate. 

Clark hesitated, and finally decided to go with his first instinct, "I'm sorry." 

"Sorry?" 

"Yeah," he grinned bashfully. "I'm sorry. I'd like to start over again. We were good together, once upon a time." 

Lex was staring at him, seemingly unmoved, so he threw in the puppy eyes until Lex laughed shortly and turned his gaze back to the water. "It's not that easy." 

Clark started to reply that it could be just that easy if they both tried, but Lex continued. 

"Underneath it all, I'm pretty sure I'm angry with you, but strangely enough, I don't hate you." He turned and took a step toward Clark, confusion written on his face. "Why can't I hate you? It would make things easier, don't you think?" 

Unsure of the answer Lex wanted, or if he even wanted an answer, Clark replied anyway. "Maybe. But easier isn't necessarily better." 

Lex nodded. And apparently, that was all the discussion he was ready for because Lex turned his attention back to the water. 

Unsure of what his next step should be, Clark watched Lex as he watched the sun set, discarding conversation openings in his head. When it was dark he knew it would be up to him. 

He pulled away from the railing, gratified to see Lex's gaze spin instantly to watch him. Slowly, almost as if trying to calm a spooked horse he held out a hand to Lex. "Are you coming?" 

This time at least he could see the indecision on Lex's face. He knew his own face had to be showing a mixture of fear and hope. He might have the strength of ten men, but he only had the courage of one. 

Lex pulled away from the railing as well, and Clark was sure he wasn't going to get a second chance. If Lex wasn't willing to risk everything now, he wouldn't ever. His face dropped and he wished more then anything that he had learned to cry. 

Just before he ran away, superspeed carrying him far, far away, Lex's hand moved toward his. 

"Then again, you can't win if you don't play." His words and manner were pure Luthor, calm and nonchalant, but the grip Lex had on his hand betrayed how tense and scared he was. They both were. 

He squeezed Lex's hand gently, hoping to send some kind of reassurance. "It'll be different this time. I promise." 

And then, still holding Lex's hand he walked them off the bridge. 


End file.
